10 January 2011

The Gobsmacked Expedition

As captain of this blog ship, I set sail into risky and uncharted waters. My mission is to take you with me on an adventure, a writer’s adventure, and as every writer knows, it’s all about trusting the process. I have no idea where I’m headed, but I do have ideas about where I might drop anchor. I have no doubt I’ll drop names, kvetch, drive people crazy, make trouble, be irreverent, and voice opinions. I will tell tales. Like a sailor, I’m fond of swearing. I’ll try to keep my tales short and humorous. Along the way, I hope to drop useful writer tips about how to navigate, but I won't hold forth on craft or story structure or anything else you’ll pay good money to learn about at conferences and workshops. I’m not making any money at this.

For those who are smart enough not to write, but have the love of reading, here's your chance to be a “fly on the wall,” watching what goes on in the “life of a writer,” and not just mine.

Scratch that. Who really wants to be a fly?

How about a parrot that sits on my pirate’s shoulder? Think of me as Jackie Sparrow, heading off into the tumultuous seas of this writer’s world as I steal character traits and stories from friends, family and foe. I’ll feed you crackers as I sing and drink with my mates, navigate storms, and do battle with the galleons of publishing and marketing. I’ll even imitate Keith Richards as Johnny Depp did. No, that’s silly. I’d rather "make music" with Keith Richards.

Our adventures together will let you experience the real world of writers. Sometimes it’s dead seas, no movement, disgruntled days. Sometimes it’s lofty ambition, full sail ahead, raise the flag. You’ll taste what it’s like to keep a writing ship afloat. I might post photos of the scallywags I drank with last night. I might tell tales of a noble agent who couldn’t sell a novel or a hair-raising story about an author whose career teetered on the plank while companies merged. (Oh, sure that sounds boring, but I doubt if the writer thought so.) I’m planning on a few guest appearances and interviews, and not the sleep inducing kind. I’ll confess to reasons why I hate the writing world. I’ll tell you plainly why I don’t leave it.

You can even ask questions. (Is that really your mother in your novel?) I might post intimate details about. … No, not yet. Oh, and there’s the nail-biting story of my research trip to Paris and a behind-the-scenes peek at a writer’s residency. Yes, I’ll post photos, too. In exchange, I invite you to comment. (“OMG, that is your mother in your novel!” “What the hell is a writer’s residency?”) You can even ask, “What the heck is all that crap in the header photo on your blog?” Just don’t ask, “Can you get me Garth Stein’s autograph?” I can, but I won’t.

As to the frequency of my blogs? I’m not promising anything. I can disappear into my novel writing for weeks or, if I experience a whopping writer’s setback, I might dump the whole sordid tale on you. And in the near future--if there’s a supreme personality of the high publishing seas--I will need to find dry land and peddle my newly-minted novel to land lubbers who love a good tale.

So, if you’re brave, haul yourself on board. I’ll try to keep you entertained. I won’t conscript you, but I do need a few good sailors and a steady wind—yours. Let’s have fun. Shout heave ho!

Ever Gobsmacked,
Val

5 comments:

Janet Riehl said... [Reply to comment]

Valerie,

Well, I'll be gobsmacked! I'm already flabbergasted, astounded, speechless, and overawed. Congratulations as you join the "blogosphere."

Wow, you are in Paris? Say more. I'd also like to know about your "my free copyright, registered and protected" badge.

What was the tipping point in deciding to start your own blog (essentially your own magazine and publishing company).

Janet Riehl

L.J. Sellers said... [Reply to comment]

Welcome to the blog world! It's quite a bit of fun.

Ms. K @ Write On Thyme said... [Reply to comment]

Cap'n Jackie! Whoo Hoo, the sails are up. I'm so excited to be along on this adventure and looking forward to each port stop. Where to first? When do we eat? "It's whhhhenn we are going to arrive?" (My French Babies version of 'Are we there yet?') Wishing you just as many fun days as frustrating ones in this world of blogging! And you probably haven't even considered it part of the experience yet but, besides the supportive friends who frequently stop by and blow friendly winds into your sails, you meet some fantastic people on your voyage. Tally Ho and all good stuff!
Kirsten

Ms. K @ Write On Thyme said... [Reply to comment]

Scratch that. Let's go with MORE fun days than frustrating ones in blogland!

Murr Brewster said... [Reply to comment]

I'm aboard. Try to keep it level. I'm the one running for the rails.

My own parents are dead--and don't think that doesn't help with the writing.