Ahoy, Lads and Lassies,
Why humor, you ask? Simple. After being down with one of those venomous viruses goin’ round, I had to find a way to soothe my snarky pirate side that kept saying, “Unfair! Can’t celebrate on New Year’s Eve? Can’t party with Jess Maxwell and Red Moons on Sunday? Arrrggghhh!”
After a little sniveling, I decided to give myself a good shake and say, “Turn this to your advantage, Captain! You’re being forced to stay in your cabin and leave first mate in charge. How best to use this time?”
|Tour a Captain's Table|
Ah, lads and lassies, I needed humor to set me straight. When yer lookin’ a fright and your coughin’ could sail an armada, you need to do somethin’! I made a list of those naggin tasks that needed to be done and knocked ‘em down one by one. I won’t go through the list. God knows, I don’t need to show you how far I'd gone adrift.
So here’s what I've had waitin' for ya for the new year.
New Year’s Bloody Resolutions
Throw 2011’s list into the brink. I’ve used and reused this list for years, created years ago by an online, fill-in-the-gap resolution generator. Sorry I can’t find the link.
Lose 1 pound
Be more magnificent
Be less inexhaustible
Write every day
Keep my damn sense of humor
For Those Who Woke Up Jan. 1 and Wanted to Write a Novel
If you woke up on January 1st and thought, “I’d like to write a novel!” (ok, maybe a “friend” said that), before you take one step in that direction, consider what Dorothy Parker had to say about becoming a writer:
“ -- via Stacy Clark on SheWrites
If that doesn’t work, here’s a humane way to discourage
friend from taking up the writer’s life. Watch all the way through. It's irritating at first, but gets funnier!
You didn’t think you’d get off that easy, did ya? Nay. Your Captain has an assignment for you.
To keep your humor afloat when you’re weak and can’t tell the arse end of galleon from a rowboat, find a funny quote or cartoon that makes you smile. But before you tape it to your computer monitor or fridge or car dash, send me a copy at ValinParis [at] earthlink [dot] net! At the end of January, I’ll post them all on my blog.
If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for your sisters and brothers! There’s good karma in keepin’ your shipmates in fine fettle. If the Mayans were right and this is the year we go “phewt,” let’s at least be laughin’. One thing I learned from Girl Scouts—other than how to make a S-Mores—is “Always Be Prepared.”
Signing off for now!
Here’s to smooth sailin’ in 2012!
Your Captain Val
Interview with book reviewer Diane Prokop
Humor! Helping Each Other Thrive; Bring Your Writing Alive
Confirmed Gossip and News from the Writing World
My Research Trip to Paris: How to Let Go and Follow your Instincts