A Muse Ponders Her Role & Dishes Dirt

Hello, Sparrow here,

            Sorry for taking over this week’s log, but someone had to.

            You see Captain Val—how can I say this and not be judgmental—has had a very busy week and is now at her monthly writers retreat on the Oregon coast. I even asked the Captain if she wanted me to do this, but a shrug and a mumbled reply gave me no definitive answer as she sat there overwhelmed by 244 emails, all of which I think should be deleted. But no, she’s so responsible, she had to go through all of her personal email first, then her political, followed by (discrete cough) her social networking messages. She responds to the ones she can and connects with others, establishing her “online presence” as an author and—well, truth be told—filling her natural need to connect. Fine. But I’ll wager that by the end of the week, she’ll drop a few of the groups within the different sites because, well, I’ll be frank, she’ll find some of the chit-chat unnecessary and—big roll of the eyes here—she already networks in real time and space. Of course, she has other responsibilities, and I understand, but this?

            I’m quite excited for the recent research she did for her work-in-progress (WIP in the writers world). (SHOULD be working on; get off the internet!) Oh, goddess, now she’s watching a TED video on the next-generation digital book. (Oh, my, that is interesting! Look at that. Amazing!)

            I’m sorry, again. Sigh.

            So, the research. On Friday, Captain Val visited Laura Lee at Redoux Parlour to research a local fashion design studio, interviewing Laura Lee, taking photos of the machines, the tables, the storage of thread cones, the necessities such as the industrial cutting tool that can whiz through six layers of fabric. 

Laura Lee Laroux- photo by Claire Flint

In her novel, the twenty-something daughter is a local fashion designer who is soon to head off to Paris to attend high couture school, or whatever it’s called. So I have no problem with her doing this type of work as it feeds me, too, and I fly around taking in everything Captain Val does, from the vintage clothing, to the bulletin board covered with design ideas. She may call on me when she rewrites the studio scene where all this research will land. I surely hope so.

            Oh, for heaven’s sake! Here comes that damned parrot. I cannot tell you how I would love to stuff this bird’s mouth. He sits on the Captain’s shoulder and proceeds to pontificate on so many subjects that he should be left on Fox Island where he’d either survive well or be eaten.

            Brawk, brawk, brawk. He goes on and on about how Captain Val’s novel should be more multi-layered, larger in scope, filled with more vivid details, heightened with more literary panache (he uses these words! Does he even know what he’s saying?). His own long-winded narrative spiel should disqualify him from criticizing any writer, never mind his own Captain’s. That bird is a disgrace to the bird species. Plus, he distracts her with politics and family worries, tapping into a glut of guilt that already causes the Captain misery. That psittacine needs to be put out of his misery.

What that pain-in-the-butt parrot looks like

How I see the the parrot

            I must change subjects while I sit here waiting to be called upon. (In one of the Captain’s last logs, she called me flighty and that really hurt my feelings; I am only flighty when the Captain is distracted or overloaded. Is it my fault that I desire to be working, and I’m ignored?)

            Enough of my complaints. Instead, I’ll share this bit of the Captain’s writing life. 

            In her work in progress, the two sisters have a mother we never see, but hear over the phone. (Isn’t there always a mom somewhere in a novel?) Well, just a few weeks ago, the Captain told her mother in a way of preparation that she had used details in her novel from her mother’s English background. These details are so rich and unique, I will not even divulge them here. As most writers do, they steal. Yes. Once when the Captain attended a residency at Hedgebrook Writers Colony, one of the writers, Jean Brody, told the younger women at the table, “It’s all grist for mill,” as the writers told alarming stories about themselves. Ms. Brody sat back with a knowing smile.

            Recently when the Captain and I were sailing into port, we listened to author Jeffrey Eugenides who just published the novel The Marriage Plot talk on NPR’s “Fresh Air” about where his characters come from. He said:

"I don't write characters and base them on a person. What I do when I create a character is put in details from all the details I know who might be like that person and then put in a huge amount of myself.”

             I’m not sure Captain Val would agree with that, but she does agree that the characters are always composites, that they may start out with one person in mind, but as the fictional dream is created and the character comes to life, the character takes on its own persona. Agree? What do you think?

            Oh, and I must tell you this—hush, hush—that the Captain’s new escape, something that takes her to a different world from this pirate one, is the ABC show Revenge. One of her favorite film forms is film noir, and this has so many of the elements. Or maybe it has to do with her Capricorn moon or the idea that the show’s writers were told to develop an updated Count of Monte Cristo, but she loves the high conflict and characterization and the obvious analogy to our economic times when wealthy people do anything to keep their lavish lifestyle, including, as she says, demolishing the middle class. The show, set in the Hamptons, focuses on a young woman who enacts revenge on a family who set up her father to take a fall for a crime he didn’t commit.

            Here’s the Revenge logline or summation that would be used for a pitch if trying to sell it to an agent or producer:

Revenge centers on a young woman who is welcomed into a community filled with people who don't know she's only there to exact revenge on those who had destroyed her family.

            And for those curious, here's the trailer:

            Oh, that damned parrot! He’s on a rant again. I’m done with that. Shoo, go away. Ha! I opened the door and he flew out.

            Ah, you need me? My Captain needs me. Thank goodness. I must fly now. Thank you, Gobsmacked crew, for listening.

            What? Oh, okay.

            My Captain asked me to thank all of you. She now has over one-hundred followers aboard the Gobsmacked. Delightful! What a joy! She’s thrilled. Merci beaucoup.

            Can’t wait to give her a little inspiration, because I’m good at inspiration and. … Coming!

            Good-bye, all! Until next time.

            Sincerely yours,

            Sparrow

            Captain Val’s Muse

p.s.

From IMDB Revenge page: Yes, the show is loosely based upon Alexandre Dumas' 'The Count of Monte Cristo', albeit transposed to the present day. Amanda Clarke (and her father David) stand in for Edmond Dantès; Conrad Grayson for Baron Danglars; Victoria Clarke for Madame Hermine Danglars; Frank for Lucien Debray etc.

Coming Up!

Interview with book reviewer Diane Prokop

Inside a Writer's Critique Group

My Research Trip to Paris: How to Let Go and Follow your Instincts

Confirmed Gossip and News from the Writing World

Interview with Cartoonist Jan Eliot, Creator of "Stone Soup"

Ai, Maties!

            It’s time for you scallywags who’ve been clamoring for this interview to shut your gobs ‘cause my main mate, Jan, is here to entertain the lot of ya.

            Jan Eliot as many of ya know is the creator of the syndicated cartoon strip Stone Soup. Stone Soup appears daily in over 200 newspapers throughout the United States and in six countries in Europe, the Middle East, and Asia. 
            Jan also happens to be me best mate. We’ve had weekly lunches for twenty-two years to sail into our respective creative waters and then land our projects. She landed on the equivalent of the New World. Do you know how many women cartoonists are working at her level? Twelve! What a buccaneer!

            Ahoy, on with the interview.

So, Jan, let’s begin with an easy one. What’s your idea of perfect happiness?

(Laughter) Unlimited airline tickets with all the time in the world to use them.

What is your greatest fear?

Not being able to travel, or not being able to travel because of deadlines looming.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Artemisia Gentileschi and her ability to break out of anonymity in a time when women painters often had their work signed by their fathers or teachers. She painted one of the most famous versions of Judith beheading Holofemes, a theme embraced by many other women painters of her time. I have been on occasion fed up with patriarchy and can identify with that. And George Eliot because she was smart and lived life on her own terms… living “in sin”, marrying someone much her junior when she was in her 60s, and writing some of the best novels in literature.

Which living person do you most admire?

Paul Farmer, a physician from Harvard who founded Partners in Health, works on world health problems and champions health care for everyone worldwide. He worked in Haiti during medical school, creating model health systems, and is now working in Rwanda.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

My wishy-washy nature. Thank you Libra.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Judgmentalism.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Trips to Africa! Or anywhere else in the world.

What is your favorite journey?

My trip to Africa with Ted.

On what occasion do you lie?

If I’m overwhelmed and cannot cope with any more requests or demands, I might say I’m not in town at that time or that I’m booked. Deadlines rule, and I really need time to fart around. You can’t be creative if you can’t fart around.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My neck, my double chin.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Cool. Really.

What is your greatest regret?

Through ignorance, or immaturity, or whatever, hurting the feelings of friends. Things can’t always be repaired, and that’s sad.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Ted, my husband.

When and where were you happiest?

In Africa. I feel most free, most like I’m living a life of my own choosing, when I travel.

What is your current state of mind?

Calm, amazingly calm.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

That everyone get along. Just get along.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Stone Soup, my cartoon strip, and having two smart, accomplished daughters. I can’t take credit for them, but I’m proud.

What is your most treasured possession?

My suitcase!

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Not being able to travel.

What is your favorite occupation? 

Cartooning.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I’m an extrovert.

What do you most value in your friends?
Humor, loyalty, compassion, love, intelligence.
(to the right, you can see her sense of humor; Jan sent this to me because it reminded her of me and my husband; by Dave Coverly of Speedbump  fame)

Who are your favorite writers?

Virginia Woolfe, A.S. Byatt, gosh, lots of writers. And, of course, George Eliot, my namesake.

Who are your favorite cartoonists?

Bill Waterson. Jim Borgman. Dave Coverly. Nicole Hollander. Claire Bretecher. Lynn Johnston. Victoria Roberts, a New Yorker cartoonist. Michael and Mary Leunig, brother and sister cartoonists from Australia who are not a team but cartoon separately. Michael is famous for his cartoons that run in the Melbourne Age, and his sister Mary does these dark, but extremely funny cartoons.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Anyone who serves the public. Teachers. They’re an amazing gift, and it’s an amazing feat to be a good teacher.

What is that you most dislike?

Bigotry.

How would like to die?

Quickly.

If you were to die and could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

A writer or painter in 1920s Paris. Or a songwriter.

Judy Chicago in front of The Dinner Party

What is your motto?

Artist Judy Chicago’s quote: “Focus has nothing to do with limitation and everything to do with expansion.” That’s been my guiding principal in work and life; rather than limiting what you can achieve, focus makes the thing you finally choose to do so much bigger.

What question have you always wanted to be asked but never have?

I’ve always wanted to be asked, “What do you think you’ll do after cartooning?” I get tired of being asked if I “think I’ll ever run out of ideas.” I don’t think I will because I have a huge cast of characters and lots of stories to tell. It’s a never-ending story. But I may not want to write that story the rest of my life. And I think there’s another life still to be lived for me. I’m tired of being asked if I’ll run out of ideas because it’s kind of like “When will you be dead?” At some time, I may decide to do something entirely different for the next thirty years. Or I may continue the strip indefinitely but do more of it “from the road”.

Who do you relate to most in your strip right now?

Alix because it’s the end of summer. I hate when summer ends. I always want one more day at the lake. Of course, the answer changes depending on my mood and the seasons.

If you ever gave up cartooning, what would you do?

I would love to have the ability to volunteer during my last twenty to thirty years overseas with women’s groups or literacy groups or groups that build wells... anywhere I can be of service. I would love to spend my last years doing work out in the world for others, living in other cultures while helping at the same time.

You love Africa. What do you think your connection to it is?

I don’t know, really. I wanted to go to Africa when I was a teenager and never lost the desire. The movie Mississippi Masala has amazing footage of Uganda and Tanzania, and watching it made me want to go there specifically. I love the music, the songs, the landscape, the history, even though much of it is difficult thanks to colonialism. It’s our birthplace. Maybe that’s it.

You’re a Libra. Do you like your sign and why or why not?

I like Libra. I like my artsy self. But I get tired of being thrown into the freezing position when I have to make a decision. I get tired of constantly weighing options and possibilities, then being frozen. And I always regret the decision I didn’t make. Otherwise, it’s a great sign.

If you were God, what would you do right this minute?

Wipe out all the bigots.

Were you one of those kids who doodled on everything? What did you doodle?

I doodled on everything. I spent ten years drawing nothing but horse heads and bustlines. Women in beautiful evening gowns with big bustlines when I was ten, when I wished I had them and could only figure out how to draw them. And horses. Very cliché, classic girl stuff. It became more hippy-like and psychedelic over time. Eventually my doodles evolved into cartooning.

Pretend that someone is forcing you to add another character to your strip. Who or what would that be?

I might add a love interest for Phil to be competition for Val or at least someone she’d perceive as a threat. Or even a love interest for Wally, but he’d be clueless. He’d have no idea. It would be Joan who could tell this woman had designs on him, and Joan would take her on. That would be a lot of fun because Wally would miss all the cues. He’d be thinking, “Oh, she’s only being nice.”

Stone Soup © Jan Eliot 2011/Dist by Universal UClick/All rights res./Reprinted with Permission

In November, you’re going to Haiti with Habitat for Humanity and Women’s Build and with The Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter Work Project. Would you please bring me back Sean Penn?

You can bet if I see him, I will try to bring him back for you. If you promise to share.

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

To see Jan in action go to this PBS Oregon Art Beat link for the story they did on her and her cartooning.

Hope that tickles your yardarm! Until next time, I remain,

Captain Val

Coming Up!

What It Takes to be a Writer (besides a serious masochistic streak!)

My Research Trip to Paris: How to Let Go and Follow your Instincts

Confirmed Gossip and News from the Writing World

How a Pulitzer Prize Winner Writes and Gobsmacked Blog Awards

“It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.”

Steve Jobs (RIP fellow buccaneer)

 

Me Hearties!!

            What a few weeks it’s been. I’ve been to Wordstock, am creatin’ a writin’ workshop to present on Tuesday, and finished writin’ the last chapter of me novel. Ai! The last chapter. Nye, it’s not the end. I’ve plenty to do in the finishing stages (more on that in a later blog), but I have popped a celebratory champagne cork with my critique group. I’m an ardent believer in rewards at every stage!

A Pulitzer Prize Winner Writes by Hand?

            Most fascinating author at the Wordstock Literary Festival? Pulitzer Prize winner Jennifer Egan. She spoke about pushing the limit of form in fiction and working outside the three-act structure or hero’s journey models.

            And, ai, this Pulitzer Prize winner writes by hand. I be gobsmacked.

            She writes a first draft by hand and then enters the draft into her computer, not stopping to do any editing or changes. After she has the computer draft, she makes an outline of what she’s written with extensive notes. She is a “Seat of the Pantser” writer, or as I prefer to call it an “Wild and Organic” writer, writing whatever comes up in her first draft, not stopping so she doesn’t kill any good ideas or the flow of her imagination. She said she never writes from her own life.

            With her novel The Keep, she had this as a working title, which I found hilarious: A Short Bad Novel. Writers often have a working title for their novels as the best titles come from the writing of the beast.

            Her Pulitzer Prize winning novel Welcome to the Good Squad ended up echoing a concept album with sides A and B. Linked short stories that thematically dealt with the music producing world. When her publisher wanted her to decide what to put on the book—novel or short story collection—she said neither because she wanted the reader to make that distinction. It killed hardback sales. So on the paperback, she had them put “novel.”

            Jennifer discusses what inspired her and how the "novel" came about:

            At Wordstock, Jennifer, when asked by the moderator what she thought about meta-fiction and deconstruction devices that break the usual form of fiction, she made this point: breaking form has been going on forever. She used Middlemarch as an example, calling its form “flexible and odd.” I’d never thought of that before, but it be true.

            I wandered around the booths and tables at Wordstock, keeping me nose to the noticeable and that led to a number of tables that spawned tales for next time, so you’ll have to wait for those.

            I also met an old friend Diane Prokop who moved to Portland, and she’s now blogging reviews of books. She’ll be covering Anne Enright, Craig Thompson (graphic novelist), Justin Torres, Sebastian Barry (Irish playwright, novelist, and poet) and many more. Check out her site here.

Gobsmacked Awards & Paying Them Forward

            Avast! All me life, I’ve had an aversion to awards. Every award or honor seemed to be attached to someone else’s rules and an opposing force that sunk the happiness. I don’ mean ta be snivelin’, just honest. On the same day in high school just before being inducted into the National Honor Society, I was put on detention for going outside to my boyfriend’s car to tell him not to park where he was parking. He was there to attend the awards ceremony.
            When I was told I would be Valedictorian of our class, I lost both Valedictorian and Salutorian honors to two secretarial-prep students. I don’t belittle their academic status, only they didn’t take physics, trig, Latin, French, chemistry, et. al. for university track.

            Ai, I need to rid meself of this bilge and hold me pirate head up high when someone gives me an award, so I go forth with a new attitude and graciously accept both the Stylish Blogger Award and the Versatile Blogger Award.

Thanks, Julie!

            I don't know Julie Farrar of “Traveling Through …” personally, so receiving these awards from her is an even greater honor. After only ten months of writin’ me blog, I'm even more gobsmacked at the awards. About Gobsmacked she said, “I love her title. And I love her love of Paris and the Pacific Northwest. And I love her pirate talk.”

            Huzzah! to you Julie and a tip o’ me hat. And in accordance with the rules of receiving these awards, I offer seven doubloons of truth about me.

1) I don’t like black licorice or lima beans.

2) I’m a lifetime member of the American Legion Auxiliary because it means so much to my mom.

3) I am proudly a former back-to-the-land-style hippie who has now embraced what I call a bohemian French lifestyle.

4) Although I’m not into sports, I believe that sports keeps us from waging even more wars than we do.

5) I was trained in ballet even though I’m 5’9” and am not svelt. I also learned tap, jazz and baton twirling. When young, I marched and twirled baton in Memorial Day parades.

6) My first crush was on a boy named Punk. True!

7) I’m a Gemini with a Capricorn moon, Pisces rising, Venus in Cancer, Mars in Gemini and Jupiter in Aries. That means I’m grounded, am in my head a lot, and am tuned into the collective unconscious. The luck planet of Jupiter being in Aries gives me an edge.

To Those I Admire

            As a captain who recognizes the steadfast and necessary work of others, I hoist me flag to these five blogging captains and bestow the same awards on them, for style, because they each have their own, and for versatility because they are:

Captain Barbara Sullivan of the ship The Solace of Lowered Expectations.

            If we all sailed under her compassionate care and intelligent insight, we’d rid the world of numerous ailments. For those who need guidance, both in life and in writing.

Captain Kristin Lamb of the ship Warrior Writers.

            I’m certain Kristin has won these awards too many times to count, but I don’t care. She’s a buccaneer of the first order in the way she keeps every writer’s ship afloat. No shrinking violet or shaking in her boots, not this pirate! She gives us the necessary guidance to fly our flags as authors. 

Captain Lesley Howard of the ship The Art of Practice

            Lesley’s new blog deals with “a woman’s reflection on the chronic chaos” of writing and parenting. Ai! And she deftly ties the lessons of one to the other in ways only a true creative mind and heart can.

Captain Anne Schroeder of the ship Anne Schroeder’s Author Blog

            “A Baby Boomer writer's insights into the challenges of life as wife-mother-daughter-writer-dreamer-homemaker-reader-doer of all things. Humor and Inspiration.” She receives the awards for her bravery and honesty for reinventing herself.

Captain Samantha Stacia of the ship The Blooming Late Journal

            For having the Adams blood coursing through her pirate’s veins. We must never be afraid to speak up, to try to enlighten the world about serious matters while doing other work, such as Samantha’s good work of helping bloggers build their world.

Who Guessed My Muse’s Name?

Give a hearty Huzzah! to MaryJo Comins! She guessed the name of my muse: Sparrow.

            Sparrow, of course, is named after Jack Sparrow. Sparrow mimics Jack in being eccentric and loving the pirate life, although she’s walks more like Marianne Faithful than Keith Richards. Like all birds, she’s flighty. She hangs around the ship as long as there are no strong winds and she’s in the mood. In other words, I can’t always count on her, so I must carry on without her at times. But she’s incredibly creative and inspiring when she’s focused.

            Stay on board for in a few weeks I’ll be introducing The Buccaneer Award.

            Until then, Ahoy! Carry on, and remember to do honor to the pirate code. For more on that, take heed of Captain Jack’s Pirate Hats Fame. He and his family follow this code of honor: http://www.captjackspiratehats.com/apirateslife.htm

Unlike their raping and pillaging ancestors, these modern-day pirates are focused on giving back via art, entertainment, culture, charity, and living history.

Me very best to you, maties,

Captain Val

Coming Up!

NEXT WEEK! Interview with Jan Eliot, creator of Stone Soup—and it’s a good one!

What It Takes to be a Writer (besides a serious masochistic streak!)

When a Research Trip to Paris Goes Aground

News and Confirmed Gossip from the Writing World

Buccaneers!

I’m anchored in Rockaway Beach, finishing my novel (two chapters to go) and have been derelict in my Captain’s Logs. But the writer’s life for me! Here be your latest news, confirmed gossip and tip for the week.

* * * * *

If you’re curious about what’s really going on in the world of publishing, you must buy the October issue of Vanity Fair and read the article (not published on their site, though), “The Book on Publishing,” a tell-all, current story about how one book was published. Includes anecdotes (an agent on crack? Really!) from inside the publishers world. Shocking. Amazing. Bewildering. Nevertheless, writers will always have to write. Whether they go with the traditional route of publishing is another story.

* * * * *

For book lovers who want their authors live and wish to sail in the same seas as them, here’s your chance.

Wordstock Festival!

This weekend, Oct. 6^th – 9^th

Portland Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE MLK Jr. Blvd.

Wordstock Festival presents a super fest of authors and publishers, small writing workshops and BIG readings. Here’s the schedule of authors and workshops. These are just a few of the amazing (and my favorite) people who will be there. Huzzah!

Steve Almond

If you’ve never heard of this zany, brilliant guy, you’re missing out. He just published God Bless American and here’s the blurb from his publisher’s page:

From a “gifted storyteller” who delivers “always enjoyable, often hysterical stories” (New York Times Book Review) comes a meditation on the American Dream and its discontents. In his most ambitious collection yet, Steve Almond offers a comic and forlorn portrait of these United States: our lust for fame, our racial tensions, the toll of perpetual war, and the pursuit of romantic happiness.

His satirical book trailer is worthy of pirate praise and future lore as he subverts the robber barons at Fox News:

 

Diana Abu Jaber & Julia Glass

Double your pleasure with two of the best. I loved Diana’s Arabian Jazz  and Origin, and her new novel Birds of Paradise is garnering rave reviews and sits in my reading stack.

Julia Glass is author of one my all-time favorite novels Three Junes. A blurb: An astonishing first novel that traces the lives of a Scottish family over a decade as they confront the joys and longings, fulfillments and betrayals of love in all its guises.

Michael Ondaatje

Yes, the one who wrote The English Patient. ‘Nuff said.

Isabel Wilkerson

Isabel won the 1994 Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing for her reporting as Chicago bureau chief of the New York Times. The award made her the first black woman in the history of American journalism to win a Pulitzer Prize and the first African American to win for individual reporting. The Warmth of Other Suns  is her first book. Check out this video.

David Rocklin

My new favorite, David Rocklin rocks with his new novel The Luminist. From Powell’s website:

In Colonial India, at a time of growing friction between the ruling British and the restless Indian populace, a Victorian woman and her young Tamil Indian servant defy convention, class, and heartbreak to investigate what is gained and lost by holding life still. Suggested by the life and work of photographic pioneer Julia Margaret Cameron, David Rocklin's novel The Luminist (Hawthorne Press) examines 19th-century Ceylon through the lives of an English woman and her Tamil apprentice.

Check out Unabridged Chick for a saucy review. She compares the writing to A.S. Byatt's.

What’s With American’s Sexual/Literary Hangup?

If you like sex, both in your life and in your literature, here’s a panel that is primed to talk about it on Sunday at 11:00 a.m.: Cheryl Strayed, Steve Almond, Lidia Yuknavitch, and Viva Las Vegas.

So sail to Wordstock and find a ransom of writerly gold. Meet you in the conference bar at 5:00!

* * * * *

From Kurt Vonnegut—advice on what you should write about if you’re a writer:

Find a subject you care about and which you in your heart feel others should care about. It is this genuine caring, and not your games with language, which will be the most compelling and seductive element in your style. I am not urging you to write a novel, by the way -- although I would not be sorry if you wrote one, provided you genuinely cared about something. A petition to the mayor about a pothole in front of your house or a love letter to the girl next door will do.

Full sail ahead!

Captain Val

If you haven’t tried naming my Muse, you have two more weeks! Thanks to all who have guessed. Here’s a hint for those who have tried:  Forget gender; one word. Now try again! There could be a little prize involved. Har-har!

Coming Up!

Gobsmacked Wins Awards, Gives Awards, Starts the Buccaneer Award!

FINALLY! Interview with Jan Eliot, creator of Stone Soup—and it’s a good one!

What It Takes to be a Writer (besides a serious masochistic streak!)

Time for The Muse: What Fashionable Pirates Will Wear This Season

Hello, Welcome.

            I am Captain Val’s muse, and she’s asked me to fill in for her this week. I’m a little put out as I thought she needed me while she writes her novel’s last chapters. But, no. I guess she’s sailing solo on this, and I wish her all the best.

            Hurrumph.

            As she’s given me carte blanche to do as I please, I will, thank you very much. I do believe she has a bit of burnout at this juncture and needs a little fun. As Steve Jobs (yes, that one) once said, “It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.”

            And as I’m quite good as her muse (not unreliable as she sometimes says, and not MIA when desperately needed; I mean, honestly, I do try, and it’s not as if I don’t have a life too), I’ve chosen fashion as my topic this week.

            You see, I’m quite taken by fashion as art, how we find ways to adorn ourselves without looking like everyone else, which of course is difficult, I know. But I’ve a fondness for pirates, as you can tell by my choosing Captain Val (FYI: muses choose their subjects, not the other way around), and pirates love their dress. Yes, yes, they love their ship, their treasure, the cute little way they speak. But really, look at what they wear!

            Now, here’s an inside bit you may not know about our Captain Val: she was inspired by one of her very early crushes:  Errol Flynn in “Captain Blood.” Was it his handsome bad-boy looks and behavior? Or is it true that the clothes (or in this case costumes) make the man? Well, have a look and judge for yourself. (The song accompanying the video? Perfect!)

            Pirates have been an inspiration for—well, forever! (or as long as I can remember and I’m not that old of a muse) Pirate garb has even shown up on the New York runways.

            As for pirate costumes, Halloween will soon wrap us in our alter egos, and I’ll give a little free advert to this site as they have pirate costumes galore and this might  be my fave …

            … although! I do wish this site, Gypsy Moon, still offered their “World’s End” collection. Ahhh.

            For the serious pirates out there, you will drool over this site from Europe: Pirates Cave. They offer custom-made pirate wear. Oh, my, I’m so … so … gobsmacked! To have a chest of gold to buy any of these!

            Ah, but thanks ToBeaPirate.com. More fitting for my purse. I’m rather fond of the frilly red Mary Read (ai, a pirate herself) set, but, oh, my Captain wouldn’t be.

            She’d dress like the captain she is, although, I happen to know she loves the romantic look when she’s ashore, and this happens to be her favorite for being at court.

            Oh, good heavens and North Star! I must fly. I’m late. I’m never late, well, not often, but right now, I must be off and let my captain once again take over her log. She’s promised to give you some juicy stuff in the next two weeks, including the interview with Jan Eliot, another pirate of the comic sort.

            To you who love the swashbuckling life, I say adieu, and confess that if I had my way, I’d choose this swashbuckler for an amusing time.

            I hope you’ve enjoyed this fun little escape and as my captain often says, if we don’t have fun once in awhile, we can’t possibly be good at our jobs, now, can we. Until I'm called to rescue her again,

             Creative Cravings and Amusing Musings to You!

From the Captain

            Thank you, muse. As always, you either cheer me up or I can’t locate you (yes, honey, you do go MIA, but not often; I understand, really I do). But today, I’m back in fine fettle and have a few questions for my shipmates.

            Have you had fun lately? Have you played with your muse?

And what would you name my muse? She seems quite lovely here, doesn’t she? I won’t, however, in the future let her take over the ship when she’s … cough … not so sweet and, let’s say, obliging.

            But what, pray, is a muse without a name? I do have a name for her, but I’d like to see if you can guess it or top mine. If you do, there’s a surprise in me treasure chest for you.

            A clue about her name: she’s named after a pirate who hasn’t been mentioned in this log. If you can’t guess it now, I’m gobsmacked.

COMING UP!

More News and Confirmed Gossip from the Writing World

What it Takes to be a Writer

And … an unusual interview with cartoonist Jan Eliot of “Stone Soup”

Paid Online Book Reviews--the Good, the Bad, the Dilemma

             My new adventure started when I read this headline in the New York Times.

In a Race to Out-Rave, 5-Star Web Reviews Go for $5

            David Streitfeld’s article covers paid reviews of hotels, products, and services, but here’s the paragraph that caught me eye:

            “Sandra Parker, a freelance writer who was hired by a review factory this spring to pump out Amazon reviews for $10 each, said her instructions were simple. ‘We were not asked to provide a five-star review, but would be asked to turn down an assignment if we could not give one. …’”

Hubble: gaseous outer layers of star reaching the end of its life

            What? “Review factories?” For books?

            Here’s why the review factories are sproutin’ up, this from the Book Marketing Maven blog:

“I cite a study by the Yale School of Management concluding that book reviews on the Amazon and Barnes & Noble websites affect sales of individual books, and also increase total sales on the sites.”

Hubble Observes Infant Stars in Nearby Galaxy

            Alas. As I stepped into deeper waters with this, an ethical dilemma arose: what does an author do if they publish independently? None of the big guys review self-published authors. And with the proliferation of writers being forced to self-publish because traditional publishing houses only want best sellers, what are an author’s choices when it comes to marketing themselves? Authors are forced to join social media groups, start a blog, do their own publicity and promotion (even if they’re NYC published), and find ways to break through the tidal wave of crap that washes to shore.

            Can we fault writers for hiring the services of a “review factory,” such as gettingbookreviews.com, to boost their review results on sites such as Amazon? Is it true desperate times call for desperate measures?

Serpens-constellation

            Ah, dear readers, drop anchor a minute. Here’s the worst bilge: the reviewers for many of these services don’t even read the books. Nay! They read a synopsis provided by the author.

            So how, then, do readers know what’s credible and what’s not? Accordin’ to the David Streitfeld article and his sources, the experts couldn’t tell the difference between legit reviews and non. However, they do offer some tips:

            1) Look for overuse of the first person singular—I, I, I

            2) Non-legit reviews seem stuffed with adverbs and exclamation points.

            I asked me parrot to write a fake review and she came up with this:

            I really really loved this novel!! I couldn’t put it down because it was incredibly awesomely good and I just love incredibly awesomely good books!!

            Sorry, my parrot loves Valley Girl speak, but you get the idea.

Written in the stars

             So this piece of rock is tricky navigatin’ for readers. For an indepth, articulate article on the pros and cons of the subject, visit The Populist Publisher.

My Question for You

All pirates on deck! Do you read reviews at Amazon or Barnes & Nobel? How do you determine whether you’ll buy the book or not? Do you have a bilge meter? Or do you go a different route? Leave me a comment. Know a way to uncover the fake reviewers? Let's help each other.

My Five Star Review (yes, I'm mixing my mediums)

            I leave you with a quote about my favorite Beatle, George Harrison. Martin Scorsese’s new documentary about him George Harrison: Living in the Material World will be aired over two nights on HBO October 5 & 6^th.

“He was a naughty boy, you know—an artist, a pirate. But his meditation left him well prepared for his death. He said he was ready to leave his body. He was always a ‘No need to panic’ kind of person.”  —Olivia Harrison, his wife

            Full sail ahead, maties, and no need to panic,

            Yours,

            Captain Val

COMING UP!

Fashionable Writer-Pirates: What They're Wearing This Season

What it Takes to be a Writer

And … an unusual interview with cartoonist Jan Eliot of “Stone Soup”